The Snarkstress is on Vacation…

The Snark will return in two weeks.

Tim Russert 1950-2008

It is with a heavy heart that the world mourns the loss of Journalist Tim Russert. He died today of an apparent heart attack at the age of 58.

R.I.P. Tim.

SNARL OF THE WEEK: whomever designed the fabric on Lily Allen’s dress

Really? Really?

Did the world REALLY need fabric, SATIN no less, with decapitated bleeding Bambis on it? I am all for art, clearly, I was an ART MAJOR in college, but this is… just gross.

Bleeding deer aside, I do love the shape and cut of the dress.

So this week’s SNARL goes out to the fabric designer who put bleeding deer on satin.

Good to see Pam Anderson is laying off the botox these days…

It’ s nice to see a woman looking her age in Hollywood.

any time, any where, just say my name and I WILL BE THERE…

Dear Dave Matthews,

I love you. I have loved you for 14 years. I want you. Any time. Any where.

-The Snarkstress

Ladies and Gentlemen… this is the Father of the Year*

* According to Las Vegas’ Club Prive. Which explains why I avoid going to clubs in Las Vegas. When KFed is the king of the douches, one can only assume it gets worse from there. And my tender sensibilities might never recover from that.

I expect his eyes to glow red any second now…

SNARL of the week: TomCruise.com

I have a confession to make.

I used to be Tom Cruise’s #1 fan.

From Risky Business all the way to when he and Nicole Kidman split up. I sided with Nicole. And then Tom really went loco, which happens to the mentally ill when not medicated, especially males past the age of 35. He fired the professionals handling his P.R. and put his sister in place as his P.R. flack. And so the carefully controlled and constructed image of Tom Cruise as the All American Male, the consummate Movie Idol, fell apart.

And boy did it fall apart in a spectacular fashion.

First he jumped on Oprah’s couch and exhibited a need for lithium:

Then there was the whole morphing of Katie Holmes from normal girl next door who made it big and stayed in touch with her hometown crew into Stepford Wife, or, more accurately, Scientology wife.

Remember when Katie looked like this:

That was pre Tom.
These days, she looks like this:

She is 29 years old people! She looks at least 10 years older than she is since she’s been Mrs. Cruise.

And how could ANYONE forget the Scientology video:

Yeah, that’s 9 minutes of life we’ll never get back. Part of my brain goes numb whenever I see a clip from that Scientology video.

I dated an actor with bi polar disorder for 4 years– and Cruise’s behavior reminds me so much of my ex. The narcissism to think he can erase the past three years, three years in which we got to know what I believe is the REAL Tom Cruise, it’s incredible. He thinks so very highly of himself, doesn’t he? One might even say pathologically so.

And now we have TomCruise.com. A fan site for Tom Cruise, run by Tom Cruise. Because after all, who is Tom’s biggest fan if not Tom himself.

It certainly isn’t me anymore. Oh hell no.

Over at TomCruise.com Tom seeks to rewrite history and try and restore his Golden Boy image.

But what he’s really doing is making himself into an even bigger joke. For that and all the crimes listed above, TomCruise.com gets my SNARL of the week award.

-The Snarkstress

M&Ms copywriters are BRILLIANT

Because I am working on my book proposal and need to make this quick, I am sharing with you something that has been bringing me great joy lately. An M&M commercial. Yeah, I’m easy.

But also?

This. Is. Brilliant.

SNARL of the week: E!

Did Denise Richards and Dina Lohan really NEED another venue for them to whine about how disadvantaged/misundersood they are?

And I know I’m not the only one horrified by two mothers using their kids for publicity.

I think not.

So you, E! Entertainment Television, get the SNARL of the Week Award.

Have a FANTASTIC Memorial Day weekend my Snarky ones! I’ll be back on Tuesday.

-The Snarkstress